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AND IT’S A MATCH! Society often asks us to look out for a soulmate who will make our lives complete. What it usually also implies is that our lives aren’t complete in themselves, that we’re half-filled jigsaw puzzles waiting for their missing parts. While having a good partner might significantly improve your quality of life, I think this advice often does more harm than good. More often than not, we look for love we couldn’t provide ourselves with. And when we find that outside of us, we feel relieved, only temporarily, to realize later that we still don’t feel complete. Lately, I’ve come to terms with the idea that you can’t substitute the love you ought to give yourself with love from anyone else - be it from a partner, friends, or anyone else. It must come from you. This concept is beautifully presented in this Ted talk called ‘The person you really need to marry’ by Tracy McMillan. (Thanks for the suggestion Priyanshi.) The talk goes on to say that you should treat yourself like how a healthy partner would treat you. And it makes so much sense. Being the person who knows you the most, you make a perfect candidate to love yourself. By no means, I don’t imply that it’s an easy process to love oneself, especially for someone who has never been used to it. For starters, we’re conditioned in a society where self-love is often equated to selfishness. But as we develop the muscle for it, I’m sure that the life gets much more bearable. Your relationships become more meaningful as you are more content on your own. You’ll come from a place of acceptance and have much more to contribute to the world than before. So take yourself out on dates. Treat yourself like a good partner would treat you - with love, care, and respect. Gift yourself the joys of life. Talk/sing to yourself. Comfort yourself. And most importantly, be kind to yourself.
2 years ago
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